Tania Melnyczuk


My Diary is my catch-all category for posts that don't fit neatly into one of the other categories.



Once upon a time someone invented homework.

So two people called Cameron and Kelli decided to get married.

They found a house with an untidy bedroom in it and moved in.

Cameron said, “Kelli, you know I didn’t marry you for nothing. There is homework and an untidy bedroom. What do you think we can do about this?”

“I know what!” said Kelli. “We can have a baby, and when he is old enough, he can do the homework and tidy the bedroom!”

“That is a good idea,” said Cameron, “but what if he doesn’t want to do it?”

“Then we will motivate him!” said Kelli.

So they had a baby and named him Uriah.

After a few years, the heap of messy things on Uriah’s floor was bigger than ever before, and there were creepy-crawlies living in it. Meanwhile, Cameron and Kelli also made Uriah go to school and bring home homework!

But Uriah didn’t tidy the heap and he didn’t do the homework, so Kelli decided that it was time to motivate him. She discussed Uriah’s behaviour on Facebook and WhatsApp, getting advice from her mother, from other mothers and from a child psychologist. Some said she should use a star chart. Others said she should use punishment. And yet others said she should do it along with him and make it into a game.

But in spite of everything she did to motivate him, Uriah didn’t meet their expectations.

Kelli then got Cameron to to talk to him. Cameron said that if Uriah didn’t tidy the heap and do his homework, he wouldn’t have a job one day.

Still, Uriah didn’t do his homework or tidy the heap.

Then one day Kelli called Uriah to supper but he didn’t come, so she stomped up to his bedroom to look for him. As usual, she saw a pile of homework which he had not done, and the mountain of untidy things that reached to the roof—but no Uriah. Kelli looked everywhere: under the bed, in the cupboard, and even behind the curtains.

Then something told her to look inside Uriah’s heap, and what she saw there shocked her beyond her wildest imagination.

To be continued in another life.

The innocent revenge of Mary’s body

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Gestures and glances

I have never met an autistic person who uses a letterboard or keyboard to communicate saying that they were happier when they were only using a few gestures and glances. Parents who deny their children the right to develop the motor skills for communicating in full,...

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Planning the QAnon ARG: What was it like to be there?

Understanding that QAnon was a psyop pitched in a PowerPoint presentation in a meeting, paid for by a client, and then designed and run in fulfilment of a contract like a marketing campaign makes my mind go to the scenes where the ARG designers decide what to put into...

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